No one really mentions that after all the months of wedding build up, things can feel a little flat when life gets back to normal. As overwhelming as wedding to-do lists can be, the nothing-to-do feeling after the day can catch you by surprise.
When you’ve invested so much time into organising every detail, it’s also easy to start nitpicking anything that didn’t quite go to plan. All of a sudden, you’re focusing on what went wrong and forgetting what went right! Here’s my experience of the post-wedding blues and tips for finding your way back to newlywed bliss.
On my wedding day, nothing fazed me. Wild wind and pouring rain? No problem. Caterers struggling with power outages? We’ll get it sorted. The morning after was a different story, as I finally acknowledged the concerns I’d put out of mind for the sake of savouring the moment.
I also went through a grieving process on the last day of our honeymoon. As I was getting ready for a night out and putting in the earrings I wore on our wedding day, it hit me that I would never get to have such an amazing experience again. For a moment, I did feel a sense of loss.
So what can you do?
1. Give yourself permission to feel all of these emotions, and talk to someone about them. My family and new husband have been excellent sounding boards as I’ve reminisced and debriefed. This has definitely helped me focus on the many special moments of the day and let go of what I know really won’t matter when we look back years from now.
2. Take some time to reflect. Grab a notepad and pen, and write down everything you loved about your wedding day. It could something significant like your walk down the aisle, or something small like the smell of your perfume. Whatever comes to mind, jot it down, including the highlights of the lead up and the days afterwards. I’ve returned to my list a few times to add extra little things as I’ve remembered them. Now I’ll always have these beautiful memories on hand if I ever need a reminder.
3. Look to the future. Create another list of all the things you’re keen to do together as a married couple. M and I talked about this a lot in the final weeks before the wedding, and it got us excited about all of the plans we could start working on once we were finished being bride and groom.
4. Know that you’re not alone. Weddings are an emotional occasion from start to finish and many couples have experienced the same feelings. It can take a little time to adjust to newlywed life, but there’s so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to!