This is the second part of our collection of common wedding etiquette questions. Part 1 is here if you missed it!
We have a few friends we would like to invite to the wedding but we don’t know their partners very well. Should we invite their plus ones anyway?
Yes, usually you should. However, if it will be a table of your work colleagues or sport team mates for example, you can talk to them before the invites go out and ask if they are happy to just come together. If this group doesn’t normally socialise with partners they may well be happy to attend alone.
Our parents/in-laws haven’t mentioned anything about contributing money to our wedding. We are happy to pay for it ourselves but were wondering how to ask how they feel about putting in?
Some parents are just trying not to be intrusive on your planning. If you need help with something specific, like the dress or bar tab, get some quotes so you can give them an idea on cost. If you need general help, say you are happy to pay for the wedding but would appreciate any financial help they are willing to give.
A member of our bridal party/family has been really critical about our choices of venue, food, styling, etc. for the wedding, insisting that their ideas are better. What can we say to stop receiving so much negative feedback?
Thank them for their feedback and remind them you are getting advice/ideas from a lot of different people, so are just working through it to do what feels right for you two. Hopefully they will understand you can’t adopt every idea.
Our invitations have gone out and one of our guests has asked if they can bring their partner to the wedding even though they haven’t been formally invited. How do we say no without hurting the guest’s feelings?
There are a number of options. If the guest knows a lot of people attending, explain that you would love them to come and there is a friend group for them to sit with, but unfortunately you can’t fit everyone’s partners. If the guest doesn’t know many people, their partner should be included. Alternatively, as invitations are usually plus ones and in most circumstances one more can usually be accommodated, it can be easier to include the extra guest. Just check with your venue regarding numbers on the table.
A number of our guests have missed the deadline for RSVPs. We really want them to be at the wedding, what should we do?
Just call them – it can be frustrating when you have sent beautiful invitations, but everyone is human and they may have forgotten or their reply lost.
A member of our bridal party recently dropped out of the wedding, should I find someone else so we have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?
It doesn’t really matter – a good photographer will make adjustments for the group photos so it doesn’t look like someone is ‘missing’. And remember, if one of the bridal party is sick on the day the wedding will still go ahead! Only replace them if there is time or someone else you truly want by your side.